You are such a slacker

That’s how I feel, anyway. I don’t have the best plan for dealing with stress. My typical response is to hide in the nearest mental closet until I think it’s safe to come out.

January. Oh let’s back up to December. My mother was in the hospital for a significant surgery. I have blurry memories of a meeting put on by the Alzheimer’s Association that included warnings on the possible effects of anesthesia. I take the notion of ‘don’t borrow trouble’ way too far. I’m not sure anyone could have prepared me for what happened next. We had many days that we did not think my mom would leave the dark, dreary, depressing nursing home. Thank you God, she did.

I’ve been reading a book called The 36 Hour Day. I sometimes feel like someone was watching us and writing a book based on their observations. If you have a friend or family member living with this disease, I highly recommend it. We had to make further adjustments in her level of care because she took a significant and permanent turn for the worse. On the days that were filled with guilt-laden comments, I would have been refreshed to hear that we were making the very best decisions for her. (Shameless plug: encourage someone this week who is assuming the responsibility of care for someone with dementia. It is a tough role, whether they reside in your home or in a facility.)

We moved her again, which meant another downsizing. She also had to live in a temporary apartment for a week. By mid-February we were dealing with anger, depression, frustration, exhaustion and much more. I will always be thankful for the supportive staff and some dear friends who helped us walk down a pretty solemn road. As I write this, she does still remember me and most of her immediate family. She is making some good friends and even seems to like the meals. Count your success wherever you can!

Take a deep breath in, exhaling slowly.

Our shoes weren’t dry yet before we received more bad news. A very close family member was diagnosed with cancer. I walked in circles around my House for days just wailing. The prognosis could be worse, but it could be much better. That story is still being written.

We had one final hurrah before summer. I landed in the hospital for several days after passing out. It has taken awhile but I’m now fully recovered.

What did I learn from these past six months? I think of the acronym WIN – what’s important now? I read an article recently that was about drowning. It said a drowning victim rarely yells for help. They are using every single breath to stay afloat. They don’t have excess lung space to yell. That is a bit of a description for why I haven’t been blogging. Any energy left over was spent trying to get some much needed rest. I knew it would come. Chaos, no matter how much there is, never lasts forever.

If you are in a similar season, focus on the biggest priorities. It is good to offer an explanation to family and friends of your situation. The deep relationships will be there when things calm down. For now, take care of yourself physically, emotionally, and spiritually so you can offer your best… Not your leftovers.

Thank you for your patience with me!

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16 thoughts on “You are such a slacker

  1. sagescenery June 14, 2013 at 9:28 pm Reply

    I’m so glad you’re back to blogging…I’ve been praying for you and missing your posts!! Being a caregiver…I was for my Mom…is a difficult ministry God asks us to go through…guilt-laden comments and all!! I think a lot of what’s asked of us is to introduce us to the “WIN” you mentioned…shakes things up, so we can actually see, feel and taste what’s REALLY important!! God Bless! Welcome Back!! Yes, take of yourself first!!

    Like

    • Overwhelmed By Joy June 14, 2013 at 9:47 pm Reply

      Thank you! I got a new tablet for my birthday that makes it a lot easier to multi-task. That might be cheating but it works for me. 🙂

      Like

      • sagescenery June 15, 2013 at 1:10 pm

        My son thinks I should get one, too!! Says I can blog wherever I am!! I just got a little tape recorder from him for Mother’s Day…I love it!!

        Like

      • Overwhelmed By Joy July 8, 2013 at 9:39 pm

        That’s a great idea!

        Like

  2. Ok So Far June 15, 2013 at 12:57 am Reply

    (((((Hugs)))))

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  3. cythereandreams June 15, 2013 at 1:01 am Reply

    Welcome back! Glad the chaos is calming and I hope the next six months go easier for you.

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    • Overwhelmed By Joy July 8, 2013 at 9:42 pm Reply

      Thank you! Less chaos, just working on putting the thoughts in my head into my blog!

      Like

  4. Barb Cavalieri June 15, 2013 at 11:02 am Reply

    you will get through this……….went through this with both inlaws….that disease sucks……we kept his mom at home. You will never regret taking such good care of her……….hang on and God bless!

    Like

  5. Brandi Roberts June 15, 2013 at 11:07 am Reply

    Wow. hugs…you have some intense stuff going on. You are in my prayers!

    Like

  6. alwayzhis June 15, 2013 at 3:15 pm Reply

    So very happy to see you back… also sorry to hear of the all the testings and trials you have/are going through with your mother. Know that in all these trials, the LORD our God is ALWAYS with us!
    I know you are, I’ve been there too. This post is so real! I will keep you and your family in my prayers as the Holy Spirit leads.
    Stephanie

    Like

  7. therunningtherapist June 16, 2013 at 8:53 pm Reply

    Blog when you can and relax when you need too. We will all still be here and need to hear what you have to say because it helps us in our daily struggles to know others are there too!

    Like

  8. […] has been a couple weeks since I last wrote. I was reading another bloggers entry over at https://overwhelmedbyjoy.wordpress.com/2013/06/14/you-are-such-a-slacker/. She is walking with her mother through the pain that is watching a a loved one develop dementia. […]

    Like

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