I was passing comments back and forth with another blogger who shared his concerns about privacy while online. He mentioned that he uses a site called Do Not Track. Their website states, “Ad companies and social networks are tracking everything you do on the web. They know what sites you visit, when you visit them and how often you do…” I asked myself the question, does it bother me that friends and family track what I do, where I go, etc. Do I have boundary issues – or do I have trust issues?
Boundaries are very necessary and yet difficult to navigate in some relationships. Who do you allow into your inner circle? Do you even have an inner circle? Most importantly, do you know why you have set up boundaries for certain people and specific situations?
I was recently transferred from someone’s inner circle to their outer circle. Their life became very complicated. Like many of you, they had struggles with financial, medical, and other woes of life. We were not best friends, but certainly had confided in each other through the years. When troubles came, the walls came up and the gates were locked. That being said, I really do understand their fears and concerns regarding who to trust and how much trust to give to others.
As troubles mounted one on top of another, I shared with my husband that we needed to help them. Oh, we did some small things. We helped in the ‘expected’ ways. It wasn’t enough, and we knew it. We felt led to do something BIG. We tried many times to initiate conversation. ‘Is there a good time to stop by?’ ‘How long will you be here?’ ‘Will you be around next weekend?’ ‘How are you doing?’ ‘Is there anything you need?’
The walls went higher and higher. We tried even more to break them down.
The problem with building such a high fortress around yourself is that once built, it takes much more work to tear it down.
We eventually resigned ourselves to the fact that they didn’t seem to want our help. I must tell you, I still feel sad about it. At every turn, we were turned away. I have struggled in the decision to share this story because we like to keep our giving a private matter.
Is there anyone today that you are blocking out of your life who might instead be a blessing? Boundaries are healthy and necessary, no question. Is there an area where you need to take down some of the bricks and build a bridge in its place?